Nobody is Interested in your Happiness

The truth about friendship

Photo by Manyu Varma on Unsplash

There’s an old saying that goes something like this “you find out who your real friends are when you are happy”. I agree. When I was single and miserable “happy” or miserable “sad” lots of people were around me because my miserableness made others happy. Now that I am in the most fulfilling and wonderful marriage there’s barely anyone around me from my old friends’ group.

It’s an interesting phenomenon to say the least! I thought my friends will be happy I am happy but how wrong I was. Nobody really wants to see me happy because others will feel miserable around me. Nobody really cares how fulfilled I am because others are not. Therefore, this leads me to say people love miserable people so they feel good about themselves.

Just watch the news and you’ll see. What they report the most is the misery that happens around you so you feel good about your own life. The more miserable the story the happier your feel. You hear about the massive shooting, a Notre-Dame church is being burned, someone got killed and so on. I suddenly think how good my life is compared to this misery….!!!?

Comparison is the root of all evil.

However, if I were to compare myself to something I would compare myself to happy, full of love people not the misery! In all honesty, I really don’t love comparing myself to anyone as no-one lives my life and no-one lived my trials and tribulations. Therefore, no-one is comparable to me it’s a just a fact. I am given, like everyone else, one life and, like everyone else, I make choices and those choices lead to happy or sad mode of life.

If any of my friends are happy I am there for them and I am always around. When my friends were getting married I was there for them whomever needed me. When I was getting married those so called “friends” were nowhere to be seen. Instead, those “friends” criticised my husband’s background, questioned the “legitimacy” and credibility of our marriage, and simply jealous of I don’t know what.

Because all of them claim they are happily married. After marriage I’ve become “somebody’s property” because I took my husband’s name. Another criticism of so called “friend”. Real friends don’t question my choices but support me instead and are there for me. I guarantee if something horrible happened to me, god forbid, all those “friends” will suddenly appear out of the blue offering their support.

They will want to see how deeply unhappy I feel so they feel good about themselves. I wish everyone not just so called “friends” have all the love, happiness and joy in their lives because we only have one life. If you are comparing yourself to anyone compare yourself to happy people not the miserable ones.

I’d want to be able to say I am as happy as you are rather than secretly hope you are miserable and I am so glad I am not in the same shit.

Kindness always “pays” so be kind and full of love to those around you. It’s my way of living I hope yours are too.

I am a writer who learned to code! I write about personal experiences within a humanist and global context. Find me on Twitter & Instagram @erikachaudhary

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store