How to Stop Being as Everybody else and Become your True Self

The uncomfortable truth

People are busy looking cool, sexy and thin. I don’t understand the concept of cool. Call me old fashioned, old or whatever but I don’t get this cool business. Sexy has become slutty. As far as being thin has never worked long term for people with weight issues and yet the so called “health businesses” are booming. On top of that it’s all superficial and everyone looks the same.

It seems as though suddenly we have a universal look of what’s pretty, sexy and cool. Look at the teenage girls the make up, clothes, eyelashes the size of their bodies even shoes they look the same. Being unique disappeared in a masses of the sameness. The only “attractive” thing these days pumped limps, fake eyelashes and boobs and the talk about celebrities.

When I was growing up I didn’t put make up on until I went to University. Ok, I did hide once and put make up on when I was seventeenth before we went to a disco. We had to clean our faces before we went home. We did look ridiculous with the make up put in a dark and not being quite right. These days 13 year old look like 18 year old and barely cover their private parts.

I don’t know how parents allow the kids to wear clothes like that and make up. Maybe the times have changed? Somehow feels wrong a 13 year old walking around with a mini skirt and not studying. Consumerism makes everyone the same. We are bombarded with advertisements wherever we go. For instance, coke ads, what clothes to wear, what nails to have, what eyelashes, the skin colour, the size of the body and so on.

When I was getting married I wanted to have a manicure and pedicure done. The lady said all the brides have their nails done either french manicure or neutral colour. I always thought french manicure looks like a prostitute is on a hunt. I don’t really like neutral colours — it’s boring. I wanted to have red nails instead. The lady told me no-one does their nails red. That’s crazy!

Why would I want to do my nails like everyone else? Furthermore, I don’t even like french manicure! I did my nails red and I was super happy to be me. My wedding wasn’t conventional. I never wanted a big wedding. I always wanted the wedding to be just my future husband and me. The wows we make is for each other and not for anyone else.

I have never seen the point of the big wedding. My wedding was the smallest possible just the family and us. Even that was it’s too crowded for my liking. The point I am making is that who says you have to have a big wedding. Who decided that french manicure is for brides? Who says drinking coke is cool? Who says looking thin is cool? Who says wearing nothing is sexy?

Who says you have to go Christmas shopping? Who says you have to wear fake eyelashes to look pretty? People have so much more freedom to think for themselves. People have so much more freedom to achieve their dreams. And yet their dreams are the same as the kid next door to be a singer, actor or model.

People have everything available at their finger tips and yet it doesn’t seem to be of interested or it is used for purposes of nothingness. People are allowed to think for themselves and yet they all think the same. I grew up in a communist country and we were taught to think the same, dress the same, work the same.

We were not allowed to dream big because that would endanger the job one had. When I came to London I was astounded at how many things I can do and no one really cares. I can do anything I want and it’s ok. Sure, I fell for the same things like having a nice phone, work in an office and have a nice going out life.

However, I am lucky enough to have escaped the vicious circle of nothingness and emptiness of the same. We all can think for ourselves and not get sucked into being cool, sexy or thin. We can instead think of being our true authentic selfs with our own thoughts and world, being healthy and looking like ourselves rather than everybody else.

I would like to hope that the younger generation would not fall into the trap of the sameness and looking cool and slutty (sexy). If they do I do hope they’d get out of it as soon as they realise there’s more to life than eyelashes, fake boobs, nothing to wear and celebrity world. Women freedom isn’t about being meat for sale but about individualism and achievements in their specialised fields of expertise such as politics, economics, history, tech and coding.

We are all allowed and given freedom to think for ourselves.

I am a writer who learned to code! I write about personal experiences within a humanist and global context. Find me on Twitter & Instagram @erikachaudhary

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store