How to Develop a Thick Skin and Enjoy Life for you

A little bit of Stoicism in your life is needed…?

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I don’t believe there are mean people in the world. I believe deep down in their hearts people are kind.

Life happens and people can either become bitter or good, or learn something from the experience. Have you heard of:

‘If life gives you lemons make lemonade’.

I had the best and worst childhood. The best because I grew up by the lake. The worst my father was an alcoholic. Unfortunately, he passed away young, may he rest in peace. Because of my childhood I could have turned into a destructive person.

Instead, I chose to learn. I decided to be the best version I can be despite my circumstances. If I could so can everyone.

Just because something bad happens in your life doesn’t mean you have to become a bad person. It’s what you do with it. For example, if I decided to base my life on my father’s choices, I’d probably be an alcoholic. However, it doesn’t have to be that way.

I am responsible for my choices. I am responsible for my life. The choices I make, changes the direction of the life I lead. Therefore, no matter the circumstances or your past you can invent yourself into anything you like. Mel Robins said:

‘You only lose when you give up’.

When you Meet Mean People in your Life

In the Little Book of Stoicism by Jonas Salzgeber says:

‘No tree becomes deep-rooted and sturdy unless strong winds blow against it.’

In other words, everyone needs to be challenged in life. Everyone needs to learn to deal with difficulties in life. Unfortunately, there are mean people in the world because of the choices they make in life. I cannot avoid mean people in the world. What I can avoid is getting involved with them.

I have a few friends and family who cannot stand me. I haven’t done anything wrong but they just need to have a dig at me all the time. It doesn’t matter what I do.

Before I got married, some of my family members would say ‘spinster, no one will marry you’, ‘what are you doing with your life being on your own’, ‘you never do anything like anybody else’ and so on.

When I got married, I lost friends because I no longer was part of their going out business. I was no longer a friend to keep them company. I was no longer a friend who wanted to see her friends drunk every weekend.

Some People cannot stand Happiness

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It annoys people I am happy. What can I do? If I go about my life thinking how I can please everyone I will please no one. Life is funny. I never pleased people. I chose to live my life. If people want to be in it I most welcome them.

If they decide to be mean I say good-bye and wish them luck. No hard feelings. It’s not my choice people decided to be mean or suddenly don’t like something in my life.

You’ve got to be your own person and walk your path. You’ve got only one life. You’ve got to live it for you. After all, you are unique, there’s no other person on the planet like you. How special is that?

If you waste your time on people who are mean to you because they are not happy with their own lives, your life will pass by you. What a waste that would be…!

The nay sayers

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Don’t worry about haters and nay sayers. It’s a test of life. I know it’s hard not to get involved with people who are mean to you. As Jonas Salzgeber says in his book of The Little Book of Stoicism:

‘Just like a tree must tighten its grip not to fall down with every breeze, we must strengthen our position if we don’t want to be swept off our feet by every trifle.’

The way to deal with it is always remember a bigger picture. Remember to always look forward and know your purpose. Where are you going? What are you achieving? What are your goals? How are you helping the world to be a better place? It helps me at least.

I focus on my future and where I am going. The more I do the things that help the world to be a better place, the more people will say bad things. It’s just how the world is. It’s how you deal with it that makes you different. Marcus Aurelius said:

‘Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.’

Don’t worry about the mad people in your life whether it’s family or friends. My family is the biggest critic of my life. I was never praised. I am always criticised. Maybe that’s why it’s easier now to just let go of friends who no longer wish to be my friends for one reason or the other…?

Enjoy Life for you

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You only have one life. Take every punch with a pride and move forward. Don’t dwell on the past or who said what. If I try to remember what my uncle said to me all my life…I’d never live my life.

Always remember what people voice about you tells more about them not you. Know where you are going; do the good deeds; be better; and enjoy life. Epictetus said:

‘First you say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.’

I am a writer who learned to code! I write about personal experiences within a humanist and global context. Find me on Twitter & Instagram @erikachaudhary

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