How I didn’t find Love but Expected it

My true love story

How did I find love?

I didn’t!

I haven’t lost it so how can I find it?

I married the man of my dreams not because I found love, not because it was unexpected but because I was ready to love and receive love. I didn’t have an expectation of him. I didn’t want him to be something I had imagined. I didn’t want him to “fit in” to my imaginary something.

Love is about being open to new things with another person.

That doesn’t mean I’ve got to change but I’ve got to allow myself to be free of any expectations, what I wanted, how I wanted it and etc. Only an open heart can love openly. If I followed all the rules and the ways to behave, and pretend something I am not, I would have never married the man of my dreams. If I had allowed my weird unrealistic expectations to guide me I would be alone today.

I met my husband in the most ordinary way which lead to the most extraordinary life that we both have. I needed to rent a place to live. A guy met me at Gloucester Road tube station. We walked to the flat he was renting. Offered me tea. We chatted about a book he had just received “Three Cups of Tea”. He showed me the flat. It looked nice.

I got back to him in the morning only to find out that the place is no longer available. I was disappointed to say the least. However, he asked me out for dinner. I thought nothing of it. In fact, it’s odd he wants to have dinner but wouldn’t rent me out the flat? I was busy and kept on pushing the date to meet. Eventually we met at a small Italian restaurant in South Kensington.

The dinner went well. We chatted a lot about everything in life. It was fun. I had the best Italian strawberry sorbet ever. I could tell he is a good person and has a kind heart. He was telling me about his birthday in Barcelona and how he is organising horse riding in the mountains with his friends. I loved the idea. I wanted to go to it too. By the end of the dinner he invited me to come.

After dinner he walked me home, which was so nice. It’s rare in London for someone to walk anyone home because everyone lives massive distances apart. I happen to find a place in Gloucester Road near the flat I viewed. We were neighbours! I went to his birthday horse rinding in the mountains in Barcelona.

That weekend in Barcelona was amazing, mad, crazy and packed of emotions. Everything happened in that one weekend; love, passion, arguments and everything in between. We only just met but because I stayed in the same flat as his best friend and his girlfriend, we were all “paired up”. They were the couple of the 7 year long relationship vs us whom just met.

I had a sneaky feeling, a certain knowing or a thought. “If we were to get married…..”. Then I laughed at myself and moved to the next item on our itinerary. We went to ride horses and have lunch in the mountains. The whole weekend was packed with things and events like an overpacked suitcase. We had some sparks that neither of us wanted to see each other again.

However, we met in Barcelona the next weekend. Call it a coincidence or fate but I don’t believe in neither. This time we spent time together. We were driving around Barcelona looking at some lands for houses to build. “Love happens when you least expected it!?” I don’t think so. Love happens when you are ready for the love to happen.

I nearly let the man of my dreams go because I was afraid. I couldn’t believe that a guy wants to spend every weekend with me. I wasn’t used to that. I’ve never met a guy who’d be so upfront and honest. I got scared. However, we had a chat over a glass of wine or two and decided to take it slow. We got married six months later. That’s our definition of “slow”.

I love being married! My husband is the most wonderful human being I have ever met and always amazes me with his absolute brilliance.

I can only accept love and be loved when I am ready. If I am not ready the love can stare me in the face and I still won’t see it. Love can happen in the most unexpected moments, places and people.

The only way to deal with the unexpected is to go with the flow.

If there was an enemy of love that would be expectations.

If I am not open, I am not even real! I have always been and I am an open heart person. I wish you the love you dream of without expectations because once you let go of all your expectations the magic happens! I hope you all have magical, juicy love every day of your life because you are worth it.

I am a writer who learned to code! I write about personal experiences within a humanist and global context. Find me on Twitter & Instagram @erikachaudhary

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