The theme of happiness surface in conversations and thoughts. Why do I spend so much time thinking of happiness? I have written two articles on the subject Happiness isn’t what you love doing and Happiness has got nothing to do with it and yet the subject of happiness is everywhere on social media! All these questions what makes you happy? are you going to stay happy? steps to take to your happiness and so on!
I am sick of it. Happiness is a nonsense term! It doesn’t exist as I have been brainwashed to believe. If you have been struggling to be happy and finally found the happiness there’s a lot of pressure to keep yourself happy. However, it doesn’t work. By thinking in your head ‘How do I stay happy?’ is the pressure on yourself and a recipe for unhappiness.
The problem lies in being focused on yourself only. Thinking only about yourself and not having a clue about the world. If you start thinking about do I feel happy? what makes me happy? How do I create my happiness? Often, you’ll find yourself in a situation that you need to achieve something before you reach that happiness in your head.
It never works! If everything is internalised and only think of yourself, of course, I will be unhappy. I will always find things to be unhappy about and get depressed. So common these days to have depression! When in actual fact all of it it’s in your head. I know some cases are serious but I am not talking about serious cases.
I am talking about people wanting to be happy and talk themselves into unhappiness and depression. How do I know? Imagine you go to the kitchen, open the fridge, get yourself a lemon, cut a piece of it and put in your mouth. You will feel a sensation in your mouth without eating a lemon. It’s all in your head. If I change my thoughts I change.
For instance, if I think I am unhappy, depressed and I am awful at everything I do that’s exactly how I am. If I think I am happy, I am cool, I am great at what I do I change. Suddenly my mood changes and everything around me changes. No wonder people say happiness is a choice! But sometimes isn’t as easy as that. And perceived “happiness” doesn’t last. People don’t always know the power is in your thoughts.
Many hip-hop singers in the 80’s wrote lyrics containing words such as: ‘look at yourself’, ‘see where you are going’. Instead of thinking about yourself and your happiness, think about where you are going, what are you doing, are you a good person, are you giving back to the world, community, what are you creating…? These questions make you better and not lose “the happiness”.
My husband often says that achievements in life are beautiful struggles. It’s a struggle to get a degree of education. It’s an achievement to get your own business running. It’s an achievement to have family and friends around you. It’s an achievement to have a job that buys you freedom. It’s an achievement doing things you love. It’s an achievement of beautiful struggle!
Whatever I try to work on it’s a beautiful struggle! It’s not about short term goal it’s about long term goals. Happiness is a short lived emotion! Life is not a race it’s a marathon, therefore, short moments of happiness are not what you want to gain for. What I want to gain for is long term beautiful struggle.
My writing, for example, is a very long term beautiful struggle. I have been writing since I can remember but I have been publishing my pieces of writing only recently. I have been writing my book but it’s a long term process. The process that requires commitment ‘if you don’t feel like it do it anyway’.
There’s no-one to push you to do writing. No-one to encourage you or put you down. It’s hard to bleed on a page and have the quiet universe watch your beautiful struggle. By thinking of yourself as outward rather than inward you will forever be happy but not in the terms as we know it. It’s going to be a beautiful struggle.