Single Life Reality but Love is Out there for Everyone

A reflection of a single person’s life in a big city

I was single for many years. I lived in London. I had a life many have go to work 9am — 5.30pm. I went on holidays to places I love such as Italy. I had friends who have pretty much the same life. We all like the same things and we were all looking for love. The love that grabs you and you never feel the same afterwards.

Many discussions and wine bottles had been had over the subject. Everyone seems to have an opinion as to why one is single or in this case why was I single. There was no particular reason why. However, people think something is wrong with me..!? But sometimes it’s not a person that’s “wrong”.

What’s wrong is how people behave and the expectations they have. They haven’t even met a person and people already have expectations. I have to look a certain way, I have to behave a certain way, I have to say certain words and etc. If I don’t fit in in any of the categories I am no longer wanted.

Or, indeed, I do things people expect and it is still wrong. The reason it’s wrong it’s because I am not somebody’s imagination. I am a real person and I would do things my way. I am not a robot and I cannot possibly fit into somebody else’s imagination. Hence, for many years I was single. The world is cruel to a single person.

Certain family members would put pressure on me, call me ‘a spinster’ and I would be the joke of every family gathering. Corporate world gives me options for benefits but those benefits only fit for a couple with children. What benefits can a single person have? I call it discrimination!

Friends would be having successful relationships whilst me going to a cold home. I don’t know why people are single but until I change my energy, view or expectations nothing will change. I am now married not because I got lucky or I found love but because I became free of expectations of love.

Big cities lie. I thought if I made myself successful I will find love. If I had many degrees I will find love. If I had that type of job I will find love. All of it is nonsense! Most important is to accept and love yourself. I know it’s a cliche but true. Love is a beautiful thing and I hope people find love. All I know for sure there’s no right or wrong formula in finding love. You know what’s right for you.

By following your instincts you’ll get there and I wouldn’t worry about what people say and think because it’s none of your business. The world is full of love and happiness and it’s in you too.

I am a writer who learned to code! I write about personal experiences within a humanist and global context. Find me on Twitter & Instagram @erikachaudhary

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