Photo by Cristian Newman on Unsplash

I make things up in my head, stress and worry about things don’t matter. I worry about the clothes not being washed, the house not being cleaned, the things I haven’t done and I should have done…my head is full of worry. Then the big one comes in like a bad smell. Fear! I start to be afraid; friends and family seeing my house. I am afraid they’ll say I am terrible and I don’t know how to look after my home. I worry they see a pile of clothes and say I am lazy. All of it is nonsense. Because I am such a worrier I found a few things that help me to push all the nonsense away.

First and foremost I exercise. I go out for a run in the mountain. The green trees, the blue sky and the sea in the background make it all spectacular. A few butterflies flying around make it magical. I am lucky because the road is not straight and really hilly. You do get a proper workout after twenty minutes of running. The run in the mountain make you physically stronger. It’s the hills that does it always up and down. You have to concentrate too because if you don’t watch where you put your feet you might just stumble on a stone or two. Generally after the run all I worried about disappear. However, if something is still in my mind I have another great mechanism that always helps me but it does require some training.

This is the best way to notice whatever you are telling yourself, worry or feeling bad about something if doesn’t feel good then it’s not true. All bad emotions and thoughts are not real. It’s all made up in my head. However, this needs to be taken with caution. This is not to make you do things so it upsets other people. This is not a ‘feeling good’ by making others miserable around you. What I do mean is, for example, I feel terrible about my writing, it’s not going anywhere, it’s all horrible, I think I cannot write, who am I kidding and so on. These thoughts make me feel terrible about myself and question what should I do? Should I continue writing or not? It makes my stomach turn all these thoughts and I sincerely feel horrible. Therefore, this is not real all of it is made up in my head and it makes me feel terrible. What I can do, instead, is think no matter what, I write! It doesn’t matter what anything or anyone says — I write. That makes me feel great. I feel good. I have an amazing sensation in my soul. So that’s the feeling I am talking about. I am not talking about materialistic gains or feel good at other people expense. It is like a “feeling traffic light” signals to yourself. If doesn’t feel good it’s not true it’s red. If it feels good it’s green. I got this idea from Benthinio Massaro, go and listen to his talks on youtube. This type of singling always works for me.

Failing all of it — mediate. Mediation always works like magic. It’s free, it’s fast and effective. I am grateful to be able to live where I live. I live away from a city noise and dirty traffic. I love that I can glance outside my office window and look at the green. It’s like seeing all possibilities out there. There’s nothing and no-one to stop you from achieving what you set out to achieve. Don’t listen to what’s not true in your head. You know it’s not true because it makes you feel bad. A life will always find a way. If a tree or a weed can find a way to grow on the asphalt you can too get rid off all terrible thoughts that make feel bad and swap for great thoughts that make you create and do something magical.

I am a writer who learned to code! I write about personal experiences within a humanist and global context. Find me on Twitter & Instagram @erikachaudhary

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store