Burned out Friendships you Need to be Aware of

Trials and tribulations of friendship

Where would anyone be without friends, right?

We start learning about friendship from when we were born. We learn about betrayal, jealousy, love and anything and everything in between. My first memory of a friend is I was pushed into a puddle and I cried like there’s no tomorrow.

Some friends will push you to make you better others will drag you down — the decision is yours.

We go through life and meet huge amount of people. Some inspire us some not so much. Some stay with us forever some are just a short lived friends. I love friendship and cherish every single one of them. However, life happens and friends sometimes live in different countries. The distance always a great test to a friendship.

I have friends from school I would meet now and we’d talk as if we hadn’t spend any minute apart then in fact I hadn’t seen them for years. I love friends like that. Some friends I don’t see or speak for a while but when we meet we have an instant love and appreciation for each other. Those friendships are the best kind.

Some friends would be fuelled by weird jealousy. I could never understand. Some friends only exists to bite you. Only contact you to have a dig at you. Those type of friends I don’t need in my life. I call them burned out friendships that no longer serve me but they still continue because no one wants to be the one to break the friendship. People grow and some stay static others change.

Those friends that ‘fitted in’ a year ago in your life were amazing but now not so much. Your proprieties have changed, for instance, you no longer want go out and just get drunk. But your friend still does that every Friday and Saturday. It might have been great fun a while back but from a health perspective it’s not sustainable and you are not interested in it anymore.

Friendships die and it’s ok.

It’s not a big deal. I am not an advocate to throw away a friendship I never will be, however, when you want to be healthy and do healthy things and your friend wants to get drunk it doesn’t fit/suit anymore neither you nor your friend. When a ‘friend’ only message to you to have a go at you for speaking up and standing up for your own truth, then it’s no longer friendship that supports you.

This type of friendship is lethal. I have a friend of mine who is one of those you instinctively know have a carefully nursed reservoir of anger they draw upon as needed, in the same way others make use of daily prayer. I have wanted to end the friendship a while back but I give it a chance. However, when it’s a one sided good will wish then it will never work.

Friends suppose to support each other and help whatever way it works for people. With friendships sometimes you don’t need to say anything it just ends without any further communication. I have a cousin with whom I was inseparable growing up but now we don’t talk, if we do it’s so awkward.

I am sad to have lost that friendship but she’s a family and will always be there, well at least I will be. Friends should never be thrown away nor discarded like a used cigarette bit. Friends should always be loved, supported and cherished. Sadly some friendships will inevitably die not because I am a bad friend or my friend is bad, but because our lives are different.

However, if the friendship is based on love and appreciation it can always be revived. What I do despise is the ones who want to bite you because they are stuck in their own way of life and cannot get out. They decide to come out and be terrible to you. That I will not tolerate nor be part of. Those so called friendship can go.

The best thing about friends you can choose your friends.

You have the power to create a circle of friends. Friends have a huge influence so I’d beg everyone to take stock and love their friends even more. Don’t surround yourself with people who put you down. Don’t surround yourself with people who never encourage you to be better and do more. Don’t surround yourself with people who get you in trouble. Those are not your friends.

Real friends will be there for you when you need them. Real friends will support you in every possible way and help you. Real friends will listen and give advice when you need it. Real friends sometimes will just be there for you. Real friends will never make you feel bad. Real friends will always encourage you to do anything that’s good for you. Real friends will get you out of trouble.

Love and light.

I am a writer who learned to code! I write about personal experiences within a humanist and global context. Find me on Twitter & Instagram @erikachaudhary

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