You’ve got to be able to roll the dice and trust it will all work out.
I love control.
It’s hard for me to let go and trust it… After all, trust what, who, how, can I touch it, see it…? No…! I don’t like the unknown. I don’t like to get drunk because I don’t like losing control. I don’t drink. I am not a control freak although all control freaks would say they are not; really I am not, I insist.
When people tell me just relax, let go, it will all be ok…I absolutely hate it. How do you know it will work out? How do you know relaxing helps? How can I relax when my future life depends on the next move…? You see what I mean? Am I the only one struggling to “drift”, let go…?
I love knowing if I exercise three times a week I will lose some weight. I can do something. I have control over my body. If I write every day my book will get written. I have control. Does that make me crazy?!! I’d like to think not. However, when I want something out of my control it’s a problem. It freezes me. I get anxious and I worry. My head spins with all sort of worry.
I love knowing what I will get on my plate when I order my food. I know what I like when it comes to food. I would never say something to a waiter “what do you recommend” and order that. I’d always worry what if I don’t like it and most of time I wouldn’t like what they recommend. However, I did something I never do. I ordered something a waiter recommended!
I had so many thoughts and doubts over a vegan burger! What’s the worse that can happen?! I don’t like it big deal, right?! I made sure whatever they put in the food it’s all vegan other than that I had no control. It’s crazy such a simple thing as ordering food would worry me. I didn’t let the ‘bad’ thoughts ruin the anticipation. I told myself “just go with it and judge it later”!
I loved that vegan burger!!! In fact this was the best vegan burger I’ve ever had!!! I’ve learned I have to let go. I have to trust it will be ok. So what if I don’t like the burger. No big deal. At least I’ve tried something I wouldn’t choose.
Just because I know doesn’t mean it’s valid.
My knowledge is limited. I don’t always know what is better, what is tastier and etc
Sometimes one really has to trust it and believe it will work out for the best. It’s so hard for me to just let go but sometimes I have to. I love to float in the sea and that feeling is the closest I can imagine to letting go. I always want to rationalise everything and have an understanding of something so I can fix things. Sometimes there’s no fixing and I have to learn to just be…
Religion is similar, I guess. It’s believing in something more than just material matter. I am not just bones and flesh. I am more. I have a soul. I cannot see it, touch it but I have it. I know there’s something higher. How do you explain why the birds fly in a triangle? How do the birds know how to sing, make their nests? It’s something I cannot explain.
It’s more than just a human flesh and bones.
Looking at nature I see the breathtaking beauty and it’s more than a rational mind can explain. There must be God, Allah, Higher something to be able to create such a beautiful world. I don’t have to understand everything I just have to see it, love it, protect it, give back and enjoy it. Why do we feel great in nature…? Certain things I cannot explain.
Off I float in the air with all my dreams and wishes and into the unknown…